MexicanAnallama (mexicananallama) wrote,

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Of betrayal (Nothing else to live for)

Okay. So here is another oneshot. It's my first Jaemin and full of angst so I actually dedicated it to my bestie
peach_gerl16 whom I love and I hope I don't disappoint you hun!!!! For those of you who don't like angst or character deaths, then don't read. IF you're okay with it, feel free to read and comment.

You always said you loved me.

“Yes, Jae?”
“I love you so much.”
“I love you too, Jae. Forever and ever.”

You made me the happiest man when you accepted.

“Jae, you mean the world to me. Will you marry me?”
Jaejoong wrapped his arms around the youngers’ neck and kissed him passionately. “Of course, I will,” the older said with a bright smile.

You vowed to stay with me and love me.

“Do you, Kim Jaejoong, take Shim Changmin to be your lawfully wedded husband? To love and to care for, till death do you part?”
“I do,” Jaejoong replied and a tear fell down his cheek when the priest said the magical words, ‘I now pronounce you man and wife’.
Shim Changmin squeezed the olders’ hands in his and bent down to place a chaste kiss on Jaejoong’s lips.

We were happy together…

“Changmin, you make me so happy,” Jaejoong softly said as he lowered himself onto the youngers’ member on their wedding night.
“You too, Jae,” Changmin replied as he sat up and wrapped his arms around his wife’s’ body. “You’re my happiness.”

…Or so I thought.
I’ve always treated you right. I’ve never forced anything on you or yelled at you. I’ve never cheated on you..... So why? Why is it that you decided to betray me? What reason is there for you to lie on our bed, the one we’ve lain in together for the past two years of our marriage, with another man?
And not just any man, but my closest friend, the one whom I always trusted and thought of as my hyung.
Why did it have to be Yunho?

Changmin smiled to himself as he unlocked the door of the apartment he shared with his wife and quietly entered. He felt anxious to see the surprised reaction of the older male seeing him be home a day earlier than expected from his business trip.
The young male found nobody in the kitchen nor living room so decided to check upstairs. As he slowly and quietly made his way to the main bedroom, he felt a clench in his heart when he heard noises coming from the closed door.
“Ughh…Jae…you-you’re so tight.”
“Go…go faster…”

He could easily recognize both voices and felt his blood run cold.
“Ahh…ahh…Yun, there…right th-there…”
Changmin could no longer stand the sounds coming from the bedroom and so as quietly as he had entered the apartment, he left it.

What…what made you do this to me?
What made you go behind my back and have an affair after the way I’ve treated you?
Why did you do this to me?

As Changmin exited the apartment complex, he hailed a cab and told the driver to head to a hotel.
He sat on the hotel bed and contemplated on what to do.
How am I supposed to face them tomorrow? he wondered. How am I supposed to hold myself back from punching Yunho in the face and yelling at Jaejoong? What am I supposed to do?
Before going to sleep, the young male went out and found a secret gun store where he bought a gun and silencer and placed the two objects in his suitcase, with his decision made up.

Even after doing what you did yesterday while I was away, how could you betray me even more and bring him with you?

As Changmin made his way out of the bathroom in the airport, he hid behind a pillar when he saw his spouse and supposed best friend entering the lobby. He saw them gaze at each other before letting go of their joined hands. They shared a brief kiss before starting to head to the terminal where Changmins’ flight would be arriving at.
Changmin clutched his fists and took a deep breath before he headed to the café. “What did I do to deserve my wife cheating on me with my best friend?” he softly grumbled to himself and bought a cup of coffee. Be calm…take action later, the young male repeated in his mind as he made his way to the terminal.
Upon seeing his wife and the taller male beside him, he forced a smile on his face and called out to them in a happy, but forced, voice. “Jaejoong-ah, Yunho-hyung!”
The two older males turned around and the younger of the two rushed towards Changmin.
How can you just act like if nothing ever happened and throw yourself at me? the younger male wanted to word out as he wrapped his arms around his spouses’ frame. What came out though, was, “I’m back, Jae.”
He closed his eyes as Jaejoongs’ face neared his and almost pushed said man away when his lips came in contact with his own. It was only a chaste kiss, with no emotion from the taller male and as Jaejoong drew back and pouted, Changmin forced a weak smile and said, “Yunho-hyung is here. It’s embarrassing.” Both of you pretend to be such good people, he reprimanded in his mind as he briefly hugged the oldest of the three “Hey, Yunho-hyung,” he said and quickly drew back from the olders’ embrace.
Changmin wanted to punch the living day lights out of both older males but refrained from doing so as he thought, I’ll deal with this later...
He walked out hand in hand with Jaejoong while Yunho was in the front, leading them to his car to take them home.
Yes, I’ll deal with you two later.

Yunho…you’ve always been my closest friend since we were kids, and you were by best man when Jae and I got married.
I’ve always treated you like an older brother and you’ve always held a place in my heart…
So why?
Why did you betray me with my wife?
How could you do what you did and act as if nothing happened?
You’ve betrayed my trust in you, Yunho…
And I can never forgive you for that.

It was already late at night in the Shim-Jung Enterprise and Changmin had made sure that everyone else had already gone home before heading to his partners’ office. As he quietly neared the olders’ office, the door was slightly opened and the young male could hear Yunho’s muffled voice. Probably on the phone, he thought and raised his hand, ready to knock but stopped an inch away when he heard the older male say, ‘I miss you too, Jae.’ Pressing his ear against the door, continuing to eavesdrop, the young male couldn’t help but wonder, For how long have they been betraying me?
Knocking on the door, he heard Yunho clearing his throat and give permission to enter.
“Oh, Changmin-ah,” Yunho said as the younger male entered. “Give me a second, I’m on the phone with a client.” Changmin nodded his head in understanding and clenched his fist behind his back as he witnessed Yunho lie to him right in front of his face. “Alright, sir…Yes…I will meet you there tomorrow…Thank you for doing business with us. Goodbye.”
Liar, Changmin hissed in his mind. Traitor. Bastard. You stupid son of a bitch.
“So,” Yunho said as he finished his supposed business call. “What brings you here? Shouldn’t you already be at home with Jaejoong?”
I bet that’s where you want to be.
“I actually came for some advice, hyung,” Changmin replied as he took a seat across form the older male. “Think you can help me?”
“I’ll do my best. Hit me,” Yunho replied.
“This isn’t really for me, but for another friend of mine,” Changmin began. “He came up to me and said that he doesn’t know what to do because he actually heard his wife in bed with someone close to him.”
As these words came out of the youngers’ mouth, he could see a flicker of emotion, Probably fear, in Yunho’s eyes.
The older male hesitantly spoke. “Does…does your friend know for a fact that his wife is cheating on him?”
Changmin nodded and continued telling his “friend’s” story. “He had been away on a business trip and came home a day earlier because he wanted to surprise his wife. But when he got home, he heard her and his best friend having sex. Then he said that when he was at the airport, he saw them kissing and holding hands when they walked in. He even heard his best friend talking on the phone with his wife and his friend even lied to his face that it was a business call.”
The atmosphere around the two males was tense and silent as Changmin restrained himself from hurting the older male at the very instant and Yunho felt nervous at the thought that maybe Changmin was not really talking about a friend.
Does he know? Yunho wondered.
“So, hyung,” Changmin said in a tone that sent shivers down the olders’ spine, “what do you think my friend should do?”
Yunho took in a deep breath and stood up from his chair, turning his back to the younger in order to look out the office window, hoping to hide his nervous face.
While the older was facing away, Changmin took the opportunity and took out the gun he had hid on the waistband of his pants, hid by his suit jacket. Taking the silencer from his suit pocket, he quietly attached it to the gun and held it in his lap. “Yunho-hyung, what do I tell my friend?” the young male asked.
The answer from the older male came, hesitant and nervous. “Maybe…maybe your friend should talk to his wife and friend and maybe…ask why they betrayed him.”
“Do you think it will work?” the younger of the two asked.
Yunho turned around and feigned innocence as he forced a smile and ran a hand through his brown locks. “Maybe. If not then he should just divorce his wife and find someone better.”
Changmin nodded his head and briefly closed his eyes as Yunho took a seat once more. It’s now or never, he told himself. “So,” he began with calmness in his voice, “Yunho,” (omitting the –hyung at the end since he no longer felt the brotherly love he had once felt for the other), “why did you go behind my back and decide to fuck Jaejoong while I was away?”
Yunho looked at the younger male across from him and stuttered. “Wha-what-what are you talking about, Minnie?”
Seeing the older male pretend to be innocent enraged Changmin. He quickly raised the gun from his lap and pointed it straight at Yunho who widened his eyes in fear.
“Ch-Changmin, what are you doing?!” Yunho managed to exclaim before trying to stand up from his chair only to be yelled at by the younger.
“If you don’t want me to blow your brains out right out, you’d better keep your ass on your fucking chair.”
The older male stayed in his place and nodded his head.
“Now,” Changmin began as he lowered the gun to his lap once more and kept a firm gaze on the older male, “I want you to stop fucking lying to me and tell me the honest truth. Why the fuck did you go behind my back and fuck Jaejoong, my wife?”
“Min, how…how did-” Yunho softly began but was cut off.
“How did I know?” Changmin asked. “I knew because I overheard you fucking Jae in my bed, in my house. I knew because I say you two holding hands when you went to pick me up from the airport. I knew because before entering your office I overheard you talking to Jae on the phone and then you have the fucking nerve to lie to me, straight in the face?!”
By this time, Changmin had shot up from his seat and was aiming at Yunho. “Give me one good fucking reason right now as to why I shouldn’t blow your brains out right now!”
“Changmin, I’m sorry.”
“I didn’t ask for a fucking apology. I asked for a fucking reason as to why you betrayed me!” the younger male exclaimed. “And I don’t want no excuses. All I want is to know why, before I fucking kill you, right he-”
“We love each other!”
Silence surrounded the two men except for the only sound of them breathing in and breathing out.
“You what?” Changmin hesitantly asked after a moment of silence and he slowly lowered the gun.
“We love each other,” Yunho softly repeated.
Changmin couldn’t understand why he felt his heart clench tighter in his chest at the simple confession from Yunho.
Fucking because of lust or want or despair, was one thing. But…because of love? Because of equal emotions from both parties; their desires to be together in the most intimate of ways…That was a different story. That wasn’t just fucking or having sex…That was making love…That was what Changmin and Jaejoong had done dozens of times.
But…was it really making love…on Jae’s part? Changmin wondered.
As he slouched down into the chair, the young male closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. “Since…For how long?”
Seeing that the younger male was giving him a chance to explain himself, Yunho calmly began to speak.
“I know that you met Jaejoong first and I knew that you fell in love with him at first sight…But, that wasn’t enough to stop me from also growing feelings for him. I didn’t say anything to you because I wanted you to find your happiness even if that would mean sadness for me. When you got married, it hurt like hell. I wasn’t able to forget about my feelings towards him and deep in my heart, I had had small hope that if it didn’t work out between the two of you, I could probably have my chance. After your marriage, I realized it wasn’t possible. He was taken by you and I swore that there would be no way I could take away your happiness.”
As Yunho paused, Changmin wondered how he hadn’t noticed anything. How could he have been so blind to see that his best friend was in love with his lover?
“It wasn’t until a few months ago that I couldn’t help myself,” Yunho said as he lowered his head and gazed at his hands on his lap. “One day, I was at the market and when I turned a corner, I bumped into Jaejoong. We both fell, with me on top of him and…and our lips touched. We-we were both shocked and when I helped him up…Changmin, I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help myself. I kissed him again.”
“And then what?” Changmin spat. “You both said, ‘Let’s fuck behind Changmin’s back and never let him know.’ Is that it?”
“No!” the older male exclaimed. “It wasn’t a simple thing to say, you know? I’ve always loved you like if you were my own brother and I never wanted to betray you.”
“But you still did!”
“We couldn’t help it!” Yunho let out as tears threatened to fall out. “We stopped talking for a few days but it soon got too hard. I couldn’t stop thinking about him and I wanted to see him and be with him everyday…I…We agreed to be together for one night and after that one night, we would forget it ever happened and stay loyal to you.” Here, the older male took in a deep breath. “You once went to Jeju Island for the weekend to go see a client…and on that night…we-we…”
“You betrayed my trust and slept together. And you fell in love with each other.”
Changmin was silent as Yunho began to ask for forgiveness.
“Min, I’m sorry. I didn’t expect for you to find out, please don’t hate me. Forgive me.”
Changmin stood up from his seat and had the gun at his side. Looking straight at the man whom he had always looked up to and loved as a brother, he spoke with hate, anger, and a hint of sorrow in his voice. “You betrayed our friendship, Yunho. You betrayed the trust I had in you. If you were truly sorry and truly cared for me as a brother, you wouldn’t have done what you did. You betrayed me…and I can never forgive you for that.”
Swiftly raising the gun, the young male aimed it straight at Yunho’s heart and before the latter was able to stand up and beg him not to do it, he fired.
As the now lifeless body fell to the floor, small tears could barely be visible on the edge of Changmin’s eyes.

Jaejoong…Oh Jaejoong.
What did I do to deserve this?
What did I ever do to have you cheat on me?
I’ve always loved you and cared for you…
And this is how you repay me?
By betraying me?
And not just by sleeping with Yunho, but by also falling in love with him?…
I don’t deserve that…

As Changmin closed the door of the apartment behind him, he shrugged off his suit and un-tucked his shirt, perfectly hiding the gun stuck in his pants’ waistband. He began to make his way upstairs and soon enough, stood in front of the bedroom he shared with his wife who had been betraying him. The door was slightly open and he could see Jaejoong sitting on the edge of the bed, holding a piece of paper in his hands with a smile spreading across his face as he read it.
“Jae, I’m home,” the young male said as he gently pushed the door open and made his way into the room.
The male on the bed hurriedly stood up and hid the piece of paper behind his back as he faced the younger male. “Cha-Changmin. Welcome home. How was work?”
I just killed my supposed best friend and found out that you two love each other. How the hell do you think work was? Changmin retorted in his mind but only worded out, “Jae, I have a big headache. You think you can get me some medicine?”
“Sure,” the older male replied, putting the paper he had been holding onto into the top drawer of the night table beside his side of the bed. “Just lay down in bed and I’ll be right back. Okay?”
Changmin sat on the bed when the older male exited the room. Glancing to the side, he was intrigued at what his wife had obviously been hiding in the drawer. He briskly stood up and when he opened the drawer, he found a red jewelry box with the characters of Sarang (Love), carved on the lid.
When the lid of the box was raised, he didn’t find jewelry. Instead he found letters in envelopes, and notes, with words of love and adoration filling the pages and the name, Yunho, signed at the bottom of every single one.
The young male quickly read a few of the possible hundred letters and felt his heart clench tighter and tighter, word by word.
When he heard the older males’ footsteps coming closer and closer to the bedroom, Changmin closed the drawer but held one letter behind his back.
As Jaejoong walked in with a bowl of soup on a tray, Changmin stayed in his spot and watched as the older male placed the tray on the bed.
“I made you some soup and I also brought the aspirin. Come sit and eat,” Jaejoong said.
The taller male of the two took in a deep breath and spoke. “I love you with all my heart and you mean the world to me. Without you in my life, I would probably die.”
A brief sign of recognition flashed through Jaejoong’s eyes as the words were said but he stayed still.
“No matter what happens in the future, know that I’ll always be there for you, to hold you, to kiss you, to love you and to protect you. Thank you for giving your love to someone as worthless as me. I love you with all my heart. Forever and ever.”
Jaejoong nervously smiled and joking said, “Yah. You’re so cheesy today. Where’d you get that from? A book on how to flatter your partner?”
“Actually, no,” Changmin replied. Bringing the hand holding onto the piece of paper out into plain view, he noticed the older male tense. “I actually memorized it from this lovely letter I found in your drawer, along with other notes, all from Yunho.”
“Changmin, it’s not what you think,” Jaejoong said and let out a gasp when he saw the younger male take out a gun and point it at him.
“Then what is it, huh, Jaejoong?” Changmin asked, crumpling the piece of paper and throwing it on the floor. “What is it? Huh? Because to me it looks like a love letter from Yunho, my best friend whom you decided to have an affair with.”
“Changmin, please listen to me,” the older male begged.
“Go ahead,” the taller of the two replied. “Tell me, Jaejong, for how long have you been seeing Yunho behind my back? For how long has he been fucking you, in our bed?” Seeing the older male widen his eyes at the question, Changmin smirked. “What? Did you really think I wouldn’t find out? I came home a day earlier to surprise you, but instead I’m the one surprised. I heard you two having sex in this very room. I saw you two holding hands and kissing in the airport yesterday. And I even heard Yunho on the phone a few hours ago, pretending to be talking to a business client when it was really you. I know all about your little affair. The one thing I don’t quite know, however, is for how long he’s been fucking you. For how many business trips in which I’ve been away, have you been laying under Yunho, having him shove his cock into your ass? For how long, huh, Jaejoong?”
The older male kept quiet which only enraged Changmin more. “Answer me, my dear sweet wife before I shoot you,” he said through clenched teeth.
“F-five months,” came Jaejoong’s soft reply.
The trigger was pulled.
A shot was fired.
“For five fucking months?” Changmin asked as he lowered the gun to his side.
As Jaejoong looked at the hole in the wall two feet to his left, he realized that if he had been standing there, the bullet would have gone straight through his head. He turned to look at his husband and as he saw hurt and anger in the latter’s’ eyes, he began to tear up. “Changmin…I’m sorry,” he said as tears rolled down his cheeks.
“Why the fuck are you crying?” Changmin said, feeling his anger rise up to an even higher level at seeing the olders’ tears. “Why are you crying? Shouldn’t that be me? Shouldn’t the person who was betrayed, be the one crying? The one hurting?”
“I’m sorry. ~sniff~ I never meant for this to happen.”
At those words, the younger of the two scoffed. “Never meant for this to happen? What? Having an affair with Yunho? Or having me find out that you’re cheating on me? Because it really doesn’t look as if you regret doing what you did.”
Jaejoong made to come close to his husband but stopped short when the gun was once more raised and aimed at him. “Okay,” he said, “I regret having you find out. I regret betraying you and hurting you…But, I couldn’t help it. I fell in love with Yunho and thought that maybe after one night of being with him, I could convince myself and let go…But, I couldn’t. Being close to him when the three of us went out to eat, having him call me while he was at work, reading the letters he sent me…I couldn’t help it…I couldn’t help falling in love with him…I never planned on having you find out and I regret that you did the way you did…But…But…”
“But what, huh?” Changmin hissed. “What exactly do you feel sorry for, Jae? You fell in love with him. You slept with him. You betrayed my love and trust. I’m sure that if I had never found out, you would still be cheating on me, or am I wrong?”
Jaejoong couldn’t answer because in his mind and heart, he knew he would continue seeing Yunho behind his husbands’ back.
“You, along with Yunho, betrayed my trust in you. You betrayed my love, my care. Instead of doing this, you could have simply asked for a divorce. But no. You decided to betray me. My wife, the one whom I cared for the most with all my heart, with my best friend, the one whom I cared for as a brother and have trusted for all my life…together…falling in love and having sex behind my back.”
Changmin let out a deep breath and decided to finish this whole ordeal.
“You betrayed me, Jaejoong,” the young male said as he kept a straight face. “And just like Yunho, I can’t forgive you. I thought I could live the rest of my life, being happy, with you at my side, but apparently that’s not possible.”
“Cha-Changmin,” Jaejoong pleaded, “please don’t do this. I-I love you.”
“You say you do,” Changmin responded, “but you apparently love Yunho more. Because if you truly loved me, none of this would be happening.”
A second shot was fired and this time a body fell to the ground, with red, crimson blood oozing out of the hole that was made in the chest…straight in the heart.

What’s done is done.
I can’t undo what’s happened.
There was no way for me to know that this…my wife and best friend betraying me, could happen.
I trusted both of them and this is what I get.
I have nothing else to live for.
No family…no friends…no reason.
Since I have nothing else to live for, then why live at all?

As Changmin stood at the edge of a cliff, overlooking the wide, blue ocean, he recalled happy memories.
He remembered first meeting Jaejooong and knowing it was love at first sight.
He remembered Yunho’s encouraging words. Go for it. I’m sure he’ll say yes.
He remembered his wedding day, finally being able to claim Jaejoong as his life-long partner and wife.
He remembered all the times they had made sweet love.
All the sweet and caring words spoken between the two.
All the gentle caresses, hugs and pats on the back. You did a good job, Minnie.
All the kisses, both gentle, (Changmin, welcome home.) and passionate, (Ah-ah-C-Changmin, I can’t hold on…P-please…now…now…I need you in me now.)
“We were so happy,” the young male voiced out as he watched the red sun begin to rise.
Tears were already sliding down his cheek and he only clutched the gun tighter when images of his now-dead wife and best friend being together came into mind.
He remembered them holding hands.
He remembered the smile that lighted up Jaejoong’s face while he read one of the many letters.
He remembered the sounds coming from both of them through the bedroom door.
“I gave you my heart, Jaejoong. I put my trust in you, Yunho. And this is how you repay me.”
Turning his back to the sun and glistening ocean, Changmin raised the gun and put the barrel under his chin.
“I’ve lost all I had,” he whispered into the slight breeze that was presently blowing his hair to the side. “I’ve lost everything I’ve ever loved…and treasured. There’s nothing else to live for. So why live?”
With that, the trigger was swiftly pulled and the body fell backwards due to the force of the shot.
If it hadn’t been for the silencer, a woman taking a walk by the cliff would have heard the gunshot and would have turned, only to see a lifeless body falling from the 100 ft cliff, straight into the wide ocean.

Okay!!!!! So there you have it. I am not trying to be conceited or anything, but I actually like this. It's my first Jaemin and I had fun writing this cause at every stop, I was like, "Gah!!! What's gonna happen next?" LOL. Well, I hope I didn't disappoint you, peach_gerl16, and I hope you liked it.
Tags: fanfic, genre: angst, length: oneshot, pairing: jaemin, pairing: yunjae
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